I really needed an outlet for my thoughts again. I am not a person to be updating regularly. I feel that in the blogosphere nowadays, people are blogging for the sake of getting noticed. Not that it’s wrong, but it is really exhausting to be constantly thinking what attracts people’s attentions, no?

My days and nights are filled with me studying and typing feverishly on my laptop. I am so mentally tired, that I am seeking every other alternatives in order to escape. Things that I don’t usually do. Never in my life have I felt so unmotivated and angry at myself for not being motivated. But on the bright side, my only paper ends on friday.

Being in Australia and experiencing the independence, I cant help to want to live overseas.

I guess many people will agree with me that Singapore can be so stifling sometimes. People are so similar in many ways, and when you are unique and in your own world, you are passed off as queer and weird. Therefore, everyone is forced to conform.

I know, that conforming to society prevails everywhere to a certain degree, and not only applies to Singapore. But, this is a travelling thing. When you are travelling, something about experience a different environment to the one you grew up you excites you that you are basically in your own world, and ignoring every comment around you.

Or maybe, it is just because you are alone in that new environment, no one you know will be there to criticize, judge and remind you of that fashion faux pas/experiment you made years later. And that is also the main reasons why travelling is so appealling.

I want to travel, all over the world, admiring the wonders and the beauty that people and nature carved. I do not want to settle my roots.

But what scares me, is that i bet EVERYONE has had such a thought and epiphany at least once in their lives. But in the end, it is just a mere thought and epiphany, nothing else. Such an idea is so impractical and just a dream.

In the end, we are still forced to conform, something we dreamt of running away from through the joys of travelling.

love,

A.

charleneyl.blogspot.com

after the death of a friend two years ago, I stumbled upon his girlfriend’s blog on day. Recently, after being so nostalgic of my freshman year in polytechnic, I suddenly remembered her, and was so obsessed in looking for her new blog.

In my mind, I was crossing my fingers really hard that she has since moved on. But, how naive of me, it was not the case.

Two years on, she is still grieving, mourning for her love that was snatched from her suddenly. Sceptics might be thinking, everyone is losing someone they love everyday, it’s part of life, deal with it. Tell me, how do you deal with it?

Twentyfive years old, she should be having the time of her life. Everyone around her are growing up, falling in love, simply living life. But to her, her motivation to get pass everyday is that she is getting to the time when she will be reunited with him again.

How arrogant we are, to take love for granted. Both of them found and understood something that we may never find and understand, and yet, ironically, such mishap befall on them.

Yes, cliche as it sounds, cherish your love ones around you. The only reason that this is so cliche, it is because people need that reminder.

A.

Life has been kind.

And this marks my first post in Aussieland.

it’s soon gonna be my second month being a resident in Indooroopilly, Brisbane. School has been treating me with much kindness, with the fine exception of Contemporary Issues of Marketing. 2000 words critique of what the previous academics wrote. Pardon me, but I guess we Singaporeans have been instilled with a bad, very bad, mindset of status quo, not arguing with theories set by people, and just let it be/ go with the flow. Critique will be difficult for Singaporeans.

Yesterday, Temasek Polytechnic Marketing Juniors came down to UQ. What a pleasant surprise! They came to Queensland for a study trip. What are the chances, and I felt a pang of nostalgia, because i think i was seriously blessed with the BEST environment ever in TP MKG. The lecturers are the best, balancing between friends and mentor perfectly. The coursemates are second to none. Everything is working at its most optimal, supporting and working together cohesively.

on the bright side, things here are out of my comfort zone, so that’s what I want. I want to experience and adapt, and not be the sheltered little lady going with the flow in Singapore.

Love,

A.

gatekeeper:

Someone has to tell this kid to give up his hopes of being an artist.

gatekeeper:

just a reminder…

 ”Love is Enough”, enough for me to forsake my Australia studies, and choose Singapore instead?

I am hardly a lovelorn person who fall head-over-heels with someone irrevocably and unconditionally. However, that does not make me heartless and not consider the relationship-factor part of my consideration process, in terms of choosing a university. How can anyone, in a functional relationship, say so surely and with such conviction, to go overseas long-term?

I am afraid of distance. I am afraid of the lack of contact and communication. I am afraid of the distractions.

But I am even more afraid of the changes. We will be grown adults by the time I’m done with my studies, so that will be the end of the innocent and problem-free relationship that I enjoy. Maybe we will mature to an extent that, the silly and nonsensical jokes that we make so effortlessly now will disappear and turn into moments of awkwardness. And what if we get so used to not having each other around, that we can just live without meeting each other for a few weeks?

I know I am worrying too much, but a portion of love is worrying, right?

love-less:

(via fuckyeahshoegaze)